If someone had told me at 20 that I was going to have a child after the age of 40, I would have told them they were crazy and to leave. Ha! Besides, when I was 20, 40 was considered over the hill for having babies! At least that’s how things use to be. Now, 40’s are the new 30’s, and 30’s are the new 20’s. Women are more powerful and successful than ever, accomplishing even more in all stages of life. Waiting longer to have a baby is becoming more the norm, and it’s not so unusual anymore to be expecting a child after 40.
At 41, on a beautiful September morning, I kind of just had “this feeling” that I should, well, you know, pee on a stick. Unplanned and unprepared, 3 long minutes later, that stick glared back at me a big fat “YES”! (insert jaw drop and me frozen in place). Shocked is an understatement. I was 41 and pregnant! My head raced with thoughts like, “I’m so old” and “people are going to think we’re crazy”. But, after the shock wore off, it didn’t take long for those thoughts to be replaced with “this is the perfect age” and “I can’t wait to tell everyone”. I quickly began to see how wonderful it was going to be to experience the peacefulness and beauty of bearing a child in this stage of life. At 42, I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy, and I can’t imagine life without him! He perfectly completes our family.
As a woman who has been pregnant and given birth twice in my 30’s and now once in my 40’s, let me tell you, there is something extremely special about being in the 4th decade of life and bearing a child. For me, the pregnancy was the healthiest pregnancy of my three. It was easy. I remained a healthy weight and I felt amazing most of the ninemonths. My energy was out of this world, and I even felt sexy this time. It was the only pregnancy in which I actually felt like posing for a baby bump photo shoot! A half-naked one!
There’s something about the confidence a woman has over 40. A 40 something women tends to “have arrived”. We know who we are, what we believe, what we want out of life, and no one is changing our mind. At least for me personally, that was a big difference between my 30’s and 40’s. I think this steadfast sense of self played a big role in how I felt during this pregnancy. I discovered there are many perks that come along with being pregnant later in life. Here are a few I experienced.
– I was able to see my bundle of joy through ultrasounds all of the time! Gone was the standard two-ultrasound rule! After 35, and especially after 40, a pregnancy is considered “high risk”, so my baby and I were watched like a hawk. I had two doctors, and ultrasounds were done at every appointment. I loved it! I bet I have 20 ultrasound print outs of little Dakota.
-Because of high risk testing, I had the option of finding out the gender on week 14! This was really cool, and you can bet that I wanted to know as early as possible. I’m a planner.
-I was more in touch with my body than ever before. I don’t know if that was an experience thing or an age thing, but I knew everything my pregnant body was telling me.
-Financial stability, business life, and life in general was more stable and settled.
-Confidence (which I mentioned briefly above) in everything…….life, who I am, goals, physical appearance. It all came together in my 40’s.
-The saying “don’t sweat the small stuff” was finally easy to apply to life. My mind was overall much more relaxed during this pregnancy, having better perspective of what really matters, and I was able to focus on enjoying the pregnancy.
-I felt more graceful, more beautiful, and sexier than I did with the other pregnancies.
-I appreciated being pregnant and the physical changes my body was going through. This is not to say that I didn’t appreciate being pregnant the other times, but I think I reveled in the blessing and miracle of life even more this time.
-Baby showers were the best! Friendships are typically deep and super meaningful in this stage of life. And my friends were super excited since I was the only one of them pregnant. Some hadn’t been in years, so everyone wanted to celebrate like Dakota was a first child!
Overall, pregnancy over 40, was amazing for me. So, if you’re closing in on your 4th decade and wanting to have children, or wanting to have more children, go for it! You’re not too old! If anything, you’re wiser, and based on my experience, I bet you will find many positives too. Pregnancy over 40 is a beautiful thing.