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Alright guys, my story is LONG. I wish had both the time and attention span for me to spell it all out, but then this blog post would probably turn into a novel. Here is the abridge version of how I found out who truly is Sydney Lyn Salati.
Two years ago you would have never guessed that I was mentally hitting rock bottom.
Life looked really good. (key word: looked) I had the boyfriend, a new car, a new puppy, just bought my first home and worked for an amazing company. From an outsiders perspective, life was perfect. I was doing everything everyone else told me to do, not what I wanted. I was miserable. Depression and anxiety became the defining factor of daily life. I cared more about others opinions than my own, I put personal happiness on the back burner, and complacency became the norm.
SO, readers, I am sure you know what happens next. My life quite literally combusted.
Starting in March of 2017, boyfriend and I broke up, Quit my secure job for a new start up company that ended up being a bust (but that ’s a story from another time). I was jobless for 4 months, had to ask my parents for money, and no longer had roommates to help pay my mortgage. I had NO idea who I was anymore. These were dark days. I actually felt the jagged edges of rock bottom piercing my skin. I felt hopeless, I felt defeated, I felt alone. I didn’t want to get out of bed. This was true depression.
You could call it ‘divine intervention,’ but one day I woke up and knew it was time to put in the work. I was shook out of complacency and forced to rebuild. First move, I started seeing a therapist, because if I didn’t like myself, how would others like me? My therapist opened my eyes to a whole new life perspective. He forced me to address my demons and face them head on. I started realizing why I was so unhappy and was ready to make a change. I found my worth, something I had vastly under valued for the majority of my life. This is when I found control again.
I spent a lot of time alone. I started reevaluating my friendships by paying closer attention to the energy I was expending. I spoke to myself kinder, with more compassion. I truly accepted that it is OK to not be OK if you’re working towards making your situation better. I realized not everyone has to understand what I’m going through but more importantly not everyone has to know. I finally started making decisions for Sydney; not for my peers, friends, or family. Allowing myself to grow allowed me to find out who I am through all the rubble. I always considered myself to be strong, but this was the first time I saw my true strength.
Regret isn’t a word I chose to used in my vocabulary. As bad as this time period was for me, I wouldn’t change a thing. I can say without hesitation that I am happy, truly happy. I am creating a new career as a real estate agent, which I found out is my calling in life, and have an insane amount of passion behind it. I am confident. I love my life, I love who I have become. I have never been more myself. I am so thankful for the heart ache, let downs, and pain. Without it, I would have never become who I am today. 🙂